we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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