the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
