I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
