oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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