i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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