a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
