Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
