If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
