You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
