At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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