my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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