Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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