I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
