shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
