drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
