How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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