You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
