i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
