Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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