My liver just broke up with me...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
