you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
