He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
