Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We're too hungover to prance.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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