She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
