Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think my mom watched the whole time
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
