I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
