my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
