his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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