fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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