Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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