Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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