have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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