I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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