dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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