no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
