oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
