Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
