Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
