Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
