Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
