Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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