i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
