i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
