is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
