I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
