love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
