the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
