we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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