My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
