...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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