yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
