Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
