I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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