I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
