I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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