conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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