He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
