i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
