Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
