I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize