Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My first STD was from a foam party
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
