the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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